“Oh my!said James.What happen to the egg,Peter said we must build it before someone will slip.Daniel said let’s start fixing the egg. James was working at the top of the egg and Daniel were looking at the egg and Peter were working at the bottom,James started to slip down the milk. James said the egg is about to broke in half then they ran off so they won’t covered with chocolate.So they started to make the city all over with chocolate and they mad the river and the ocean and the cold sea milky.
Hello Siliuasi,
ReplyDeleteI liked your story about the broken egg and the men trying to fix it. I can see James beginning to slip down the milk. I can imagine the whole city made of chocolate with the milk fro the river and the cold sea. Good job!
I hope you continue to post to 100WC
Barbara McFall Team 100WC
The Phoenix School, Salem, MA USA
Hi Siliuasi,
ReplyDeleteI love how the characters in your story make the best of the their situation by making the city over with chocolate! I really like the last sentence the most, with the list you included of "the river and the ocean and the cold sea" and I like how you said milky, instead of saying that they made it "out of milk". Well done!
Fiona (Team 100 WC)